Thank you learn2live. You are right. It is hard to see that when i see how he has changed. He has said some profound things. I thought he was not even capable of. I have read somewhere that the mental capacity is about the age when the addiction started... so that makes good sense that he would go back to HS. I just can not understand that he is willing to throw the opportunity of a marriage and a life with his son out the window over this!
The funny (all relative) thing is that i just want him to love me as much as i love him. I am also finally (!!) starting my new job tomorrow and all i want is for him to call me and wish me all the best.
Goodness am i messed up!