Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
I really don't know how to answer this question. I don't have kids. But, here goes...
You speak of trust and forgiveness. Trust is something that is earned. And there is currently no evidence that you can trust your AH. None. What he has to do is focus on his recovery, and it's his actions over the long haul that will show you whether or not you can trust him.
As far as forgiveness goes...
I believe in compassion. We're all fellow travelers. None of us are immune to mistakes or poor behavior. And yet when we're somebody else's victim, none of that seems to matter because we've been hurt, or betrayed. So I believe there is a danger of forgiving too quickly. Forgiveness is a process that takes an indeterminate period of time. Personally speaking, I have not forgiven my AXGF for her multiple betrayals of me and her sadistic delight in telling me about them. I don't know if I ever will. But I also recognize that in addition to being an addict, she's mentally ill and has a character disorder. Maybe one day I will forgive her. Maybe one day you'll forgive your AH. But I know in both of our cases, we'll do it when we're ready to do so.
Do the right thing by you and your children, and don't succumb to pressure from your AH.
Best,
ZoSo