Welcome to the SR family!
I hope you will make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.
I agree with Tuffgirl about being your authentic self during your visits to rehab. I like to remember the slogan:
Say what you mean,
Mean what you say,
Just don't say it mean.
He is in rehab surrounded by professionals to help him process any feelings he may have as a result of what you share. That is what he is there to learn about: dealing with his feelings without reaching for his drug of choice.
I also agree that you are not obligated to fulfill the request to attend future meetings, especially if it makes you uncomfortable.
Moving him back into your home after treatment is not a requirement. You both have choices after treatment. If you are not comfortable, don't do it.
This is also a time of recovery for you and your special needs child.
I know that living with an alcoholic meant that my home was fragile. We felt like we were walking around on egg shells so as not to *set off* a reaction from the alcoholic. That is no way for a family to live. Our happiness, our lives, our serenity were just as important! Yours is too!
Your life has meaning. You can choose how you spend your one precious life.