(((((peaceinthepines)))))
I know some around here have heard (read) this story before but it has been awhile, so I will repeat it again, lol
In Jan of '79 I was 33 1/2 years old and my parents and family all said ENOUGH, NO MORE, this is YOUR PROBLEM you take care of it. If you call we will hang up, if you come to the door it will be closed in your face and if you try and steal from us we will call the police.
My response was to move across the country. It took me 2 1/2 more years to find recovery and the last 1 1/2 years I lived on the streets of Hollyweird.
In all my years since then I have stated repeatedly over and over, in and out of AA meetings, in and out of Alanon meetings, working with my sponsees, and on here:
"This was THE BEST THING THAT MY PARENTS EVER DID FOR ME."
Believe me they did plenty, they bailed me out of jail, they paid my mortgage payment, they were constantly giving me money.
When I was about 3 years sober and clean, my mom and I were talking and I asked her, after thanking her for about the 50th time, what happened that she and dad and sis were finally able to do this and mean it.
Her response was that they were at the end of their rope and had they not cut me out of their lives they would have been institutionalized in padded cells in straight jackets and she was not kidding. Back then, there really was not that much of Alanon yet available and she certainly had never heard of it.
I have worked with many sponsees that their parents did the same thing, and by gosh they managed to find recovery.
I feel that by just letting him go I'm just walking away from him while he is right in the middle of killing himself, literally.
Actually by walking away from him, giving him to his HP to watch over, you are giving him the opportunity to help himself with no 'mommy' to fall back on and manipulate.
Please find some alanon meeting and/or some private one on one counseling for yourself. This will help your AS more than anything.
J M H O based on over 31 years of being sober and clean and sponsoring others also trying for sobriety, and over 28 years of working on my own codependency and sponsoring others.
Love and hugs,