L2L, your comments could have been written by me. thats how i felt too when i realised i had to self soothe and that all the answers, acknowledgements, compassion, forgiveness had to come from within and not from the outside. when you learn this, you no longer are held at ransom to someone else's response to gain some relief from your pain. when you self soothe you get it instantly from the source of the pain, you. for as an adult you can't be hurt by someone, unless you accept what they are saying is on some level true.
i love keeping busy, but just sitting and relaxing listening to some inspiring music or just the sounds of the day or night can be a gift too. keeping busy can distract you from dealing with issues. but i know too that somedays, you just don't want a break from dealing and sorting and throwing out your thoughts.