Originally Posted by
tbeit 
L2L I read this over and over it is said wonderfully thank you. I'm not there yet but it is my destination. I want everyone here to know that I learn so much from all of you. I read about the person that said they were raised by wolves and I feel that way also. I have no model to go by.
You are welcome.
A destination is a very good thing to have. You can see that other folks have gotten to a place where you want to be so you know it is possible with you too. I have to tell my brother all the time, because he is just now starting to work on these issues too, at almost 50 years old, to just keep going to Al-Anon meetings and just keep doing your best to work a program, and you will get there too. In your own way, and in your own time. And it will bring you a peace in your heart you did not know could exist.
I also was raised by wolves
Though my mother was very nearly a saint. I am so grateful to have had her as my mother. She was a good model in some ways. You take the good you see in others and copy that till you've found what works for you. Fake it till you make it. Meet as many healthy people as you can so that you can see how they do it. The first time I ever met a healthy man, I was probably 32 or 33 years old. I honestly used him as my model for healthy behavior for at least 10 years after that. I still do sometimes. Sometimes when I am struggling with something, I imagine what he would do or say to me and that gives me strength and courage. It's kinda like that saying people have, WWJD?