Yeah, my mom doesn't get it either. To hear her tell it, she was the best of mothers...conveniently forgetting about her martyr drama ALL THE TIME, smacking us with switches, locking us out of the house, never letting us have our own pain....whatever.
I figured out finally that there was no point wasting time trying to make her "get it" because she probably already "got it", but couldn't admit it to me. That would have been admitting guilt and acknowledging that it wasn't all my dad's fault (who was an a-hole, but never home) that things weren't the best.
The best thing I can say here is first work on getting yourself as well as you can. Go to therapy, treat yourself well, write/journal, stay here on SR. You may never get a chance to make them understand what you went through and you may have to accept that. Remember - LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE.
I hate free time too. My job for some insane reason just gave me 5 unrequested days off in a row and I wasn't really looking forward to that. Too much time on my hands gives me reason to brood, obsess and whine. Not to mention we are on our 6th or 7th day of above 100 degree heat index here in IL....
But yesterday the kids and I went to Goodwill, Cost Plus, Pier One, Taco Bell, HomeGoods, and Five Below. I just now have a car after not having one for almost 10 months and I'm burning rubber! As soon as I get a load of laundry done we are going to Savers, Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel.
So as to the free time thing - can you get out of the house? Maybe just go for a walk or window shopping? I like to go where I know a lot of people will be walking their dogs just so I can pet and spoil them a little before I move on. I don't know exactly where you are located in NY.....?