IC - I understand how you feel. But nowhere have I found anybody who beat me up about slipping as much as I did. Sometimes, I've seen people be direct and to the point, both here, and in AA, but sometimes that's what's needed.
I know how close I've come over the last 32 days. Yesterday, I came damn close to saying '**** it' and going to a pub where I wouldn't have to ask for a drink, I'd have one waiting for me when I sat down.
I didn't. That's why I'm not talking about day 1 again. But yesterday, I didn't just want a drink, I wanted to get drunk. In a town that's an hour and a half and two bus rides from where I live. Smart plan, huh? But somehow, I didn't.
At my second meeting, I turned up having been drinking, and I was welcomed. I've seen other people turn up when they have as well, and they have been welcomed. When I've slipped up, I've admitted it, and nobody's had a go at me. You know, as do all of us, what you, and us, have to do.
When you slip, you learn what you can, put it behind you and start again.
Keith, people tell me I'm doing well. Maybe I am, although it doesn't feel like it. I'm not taking it for granted that this will continue. I'm worried that, sooner or later, I'm going to crack. But for now. One day at a time. One foot in front of another. And that's all I, or any of us, can do.