at the same time have an impending doom type feeling that it isnt going to last....which I am afraid is reality
Then your 'actions' for this reality have to also speak for you. What are your plans? Go on 'status quo' or set some boundaries for you and what you will do if those boundaries are crossed? You do know that 'leaving' does not necessarily mean divorce? It can mean a separation, that will give you some space, peace and quiet and a chance to clear your head and think about your next move. Just make sure you are doing that for you, not for her, althoughd sometimes it does help the A reach their bottom, that cannot be your motive.
This is the time for you to 'plan' for you, work on you, take CARE OF YOU. Those 'mixed' signals can be a real biotch!
Know that we are walking with you in spirit Grizz.
Love and hugs,