Originally Posted by
enodm 
I need to have the conversation we all have probably had over and over with my AH.
I have NO desire to be around him if he is drinking. I find that when he is drinking, I have this over whelming feeling of disgust, hate and cant stand him. Any time we have any conversation about drinking, he always gets defensive, its the same conversation over and over and Im so over having the conversations. I typically ignorwe the drunk him the best I can, but am finding that I am starting to have anxiety attacks while trying to ignore him. So I go inside and remove myself from the situation. TEMPORARILY, or until the next time.
I married him as a drinker, which is what he says and that's a fair statement, but I want nothing to do with him when he's drinking. He will aslo say, what it's ok for you to have a beer, but not me? I have one beer, he has an 18 pack. Anyways, any adice on how to have this conversation in a constructive way would be helpful!!
The information highlighted is something I am very familiar with. So sorry you are dealing with this.
My suggestions to you are read upon anything you can get your hands on about this disease, so you will feel more informed when it is time for you to make decisions. Unfortunately,alcoholism is a family disease, and I was being impacted in many more ways than I realized. In my experience, it has never been helpful to have serious conversations with an active alcoholic. the end result always hurt me or confused me more. I found that living with active alcoholism is often very similar to living in a war zone. and I personally would not go to a war zone exposed and without my protective gear. Attend support groups if you can and get educated. Most importantly, never ignore your gut feelings.