Dear TJP,
I was so heartbroken reading your post. Wanted to add my thoughts and prayers for you and your children. You expressed your pain so poignantly, it just pierced my heart.
EnglishGarden suggested several wonderful, practical aids (the essential oils help me also). If you aren't familiar with them, I have used the Bach Flower Remedies, first introduced to me 30 years ago by my British aunt, a nurse and very wise woman. When I was anorexic/suicidal four years ago, just after we had my then 17-year-old son involuntarily committed to a psyche hospital, my husband, in desperation, bought Sweet Chestnut (the remedy suggested for "bringing optimism and peace of mind when anguish overwhelms you and you can find no way out." I eventually got out of the bed (no need to call the ambulance) got to a psychiatrist, was diagnosed and treated, and slowly came back to life and to my work in the newsroom as an editor and writer.
I know it might sound crazy or "New Agey" or silly, but I'm suggesting it because they've not only helped me, but the Bach remedies are now recommended by people as mainstream as nutrition and health expert Anne Louise Gittleman.. There are 38 or 39 different "remedies" for helping with everything from social anxiety to when you are feeling overly nostalgic (something I can fall into sometimes when I think about the years Before). They're sold at almost any good health food store, Whole Foods, and, of course, online (I have found less expensive on Amazon or Vitacost). The story of Dr. Edward Bach, British physician behind them, is interesting, as is reading about all of the remedies. If for nothing else, it's the kind of reading that can temporarily take your mind to a calmer, more peaceful place. And there's nothing silly about that.
Blessings and God's peace be with you.