So many people have said so many wise things, there is so much light surrounding you,tjp, so much light coming your way, from these angels.
I will just recommend a few small things for the anxiety:
Good Chamomile Tea, drink it all day long.
The best Lavender Lotion and Lavender Essential Oil you can find. Keep rubbing it on your neck and put the essential oil between your brows, throughout the day. (Aveda carries a lavender lotion specifically formulated for stress).
Stress B-Vitamins, the mega formula. Take the recommended dose and drink plenty of water with that.
Melatonin for nighttime sleep. Just a low dose, maybe half the recommended amount.
Hot baths with detoxifying bath salts, one bath a day, before bed is best.
Most important of all: deep breathing is by far the best to relieve anxiety. When you let out the long breath, release your son and daughter into God's care. Five deep breaths, in and out, several times through the day. Sit and breathe. Let them go to God.
And I find a hot water bottle wrapped in a soft towel and placed on my chest incredibly comforting.
Finally, I just want to gently remind you that we are at the mercy of our organic bodies, and most assuredly the most complex brain. Your children have medical illnesses of the brain, it involves the deepest parts of the brain, and, tjp, it is genetic going all the way back to your great great great grandparents. No parent in the world gives a child addictive disease nor a personality disorder.
I'm pretty sure you attend 12 step meetings. You need to sit there and allow the Holy Spirit in the room to comfort you. If you do not feel this in the meeting, there are others where you will.
God bless you, God make His face to shine upon you and your children, and bring you release from your heavy burdens and fears. May God's angels envelope you with their wings, and light heal you from within.