Hopeful,
I'll share my experience.
Addicts have this false sense of entitlement. They have a very blurred sense of right from wrong.
My addict owed me a few hundred bucks. Keep in mind I was a student living on a very tight budget with massive law school loans. He would come up with all sorts of excuses why he needed to borrow money and made me feel bad about his situation ...
long story short... to help him out when he freshly got cleaned, I told him, instead of paying me back X amount, since he is not working right now, he could pay me back X (less than what he owed me) amount instead. It was my kindness to help him at my cost.
Then he got a good job and got paid very well. He didnt have bills to pay because he was living with his sister (no rent) and had a old car to drive from his mom. He still wasnt paying me back. So I asked him if he could pay me back all of it (instead of the lesser amount) ... Guess his response?
"I'm not gonna pay you back the extra money just because you're being a cheap biatch"
WOOOOOOOOW.. REWIND PLEASE. I'm the cheap Beep when you're the one that owes people money and doesnt want to pay people back?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Dont you have any any shame? How did your parents raised you?
I was so ready to cut him off then.
Of course then I got a phone call the next day begging for forgiveness, saying how wrong he was, that he loved me so much ... plus he gave me half of the money that he owed me, then I got sucked back into the abuse.
My parents always taught me never borrow money from people. That's what the banks are for... and if someone does any favor for you, you make sure you make it up and dont owe them anything. So my addict's thinking totally blew my mind. The fact that he thought he was entitled to pay me less money than he owed and that I was wrong to ask him to pay me back all of the money he borrowed/stole from me.
For a brief second, I thought I was crazy... but CLEARLY he was crazy. I dont even know why I ever doubted myself.