Actually, a church without "history" as you put it sounds like a good idea, for you and your kids. A real fresh start.
Not surprised to hear hubby got huffy over the possibility of actually speaking the truth in counseling. Darkness hates the light. But you are absolutely right. It is a waste of everyone's time and energy if it's nothing more than an exercise in self-justification or sympathy-seeking.
Find your own counselor if you don't have one where you can speak the truth that can set you free.
So glad to hear you have some help and support at home.