Originally Posted by WorkInProgress8

Agree with Summer! From my experience, when my XABF would accuse me of cheating it was because HE was actually the one doing it:deflecting blame. Its 1 of the many twisted games As play. IMHO i wouldnt be surprised if he used your supposed "cheating" as an excuse to actually cheat while youre in FL. : (
"He obviously is concerned about his marriage even though he won't talk to me about diddly squat right now."
To me that doesnt sound like hes very concerned about the marriage. Actions speak louder than words and in this case hes mute, which to me says the marriage must not be of great importance.
"I could give him the letter I was planning on giving him telling him I'd go marriage counseling only if he addresses the drinking and only if he gets into therapy with an addictions specialist for 3 months. I also threw out the fact that I heard that AA works wonders for folks who need to give up the drink. I didn't threaten or give ultimatums except to say that marriage counseling is off the table unless he can do those 2 things."
Liz those sound like ultimatums to me. Either YOU do this or IM not going to do that: ultimatum. Please dont take this the wrong way but why do you still have that letter? I havent read all of your posts but have seen you mention this 'letter' multiple times. Do you think it will be the thing to open your AH eyes and realize he has a problem? Ive seen many of your comments on other threads as well so i know that YOU know that HE will only get sober when hes ready. A letter is not going to be the kick in his ass that he needs. The letter should be at the bottom of a trash can. From what youve said it sounds like he doesnt deserve any more explanations about the problems in your marriage caused by his drinking. Hopefully your trip to FL will be a breath of a fresh air and a chance to recover some of your focus and put it back on yourself.