Oh Desertsong.... I am so, so sorry. I am in a long term relationship with a man I have been with off and on for 19 years and our story is a little similar because I got sober and he did not. He isn't as far along in his disease as your husband is, but it is likely in the mail if he doesn't get his crap together. However, I have an inkling of what you must be feeling.
I really hope he gets better. I will pray for you (and me too).