kmangel

As much as you and your husband want to protect your daughter, there is no easy way through detox but for her to suck it up and do it. This is one thing you can not do for her. We as parents try to help our kids in many other ways, often only hurting our kids more than helping them. My husband has said in the past about the car we gave our son--that he would lose his job without a car. I stopped caving in to my husband's enabling our son and demanded the car keys from our son. He now takes the bus. He still has his job, too! I am prepared to give the car back to our son at some point in the future but when I brought it up, he said he was going to buy a scooter instead to save money on gas and insurance. He is showing maturity IMO. Don't be afraid to be tough with your daughter--she may just surprise you.

Get counseling for you and your husband. Learn all you can about enabling. Set boundaries for while your daughter is living at home. Go to Al-Anon or some other group for friends and family of addicts. You need to prepare yourselves to live with a recovering addict. Your daughter has learned how to live as an addict and her relating to you has changed from before she began using drugs.

My son became addicted to opiates and later heroin while living in another state. We were blissfully unaware for four years. When heroin entered the picture is when we finally learned how serious a problem with drugs he had. Our son was ordered by a judge to rehab. My husband and I thought that we could trust our son after he came out of rehab but we soon came to learn that he could still string us along. It takes time for the recovering addict to earn back trust. They have to work at it.

What you want or expect from your daughter may not be what she is ready or willing to give you and your husband. In time you both will know. Be prepared. Know what your boundaries are and stick by them.