Originally Posted by
dandylion 
Dear Liz, do you think that fear of loss of many of the benefits of the current lifestyle could be a factor that is keeping you "stuck" (your word). Such things as financial security, beautiful home, attractive husband, social status. I do think that the fear of not being being able to duplicate these things as a single parent is a large factor with many people. I know before my divorce I had to make plans for "survival" alone. For me, it turned out that the big house and social standing was a small price to pay for peace-of-mind.
I second every word in LaTeeDa's post about awareness---acceptance----action. Acceptance that you are powerless to change him. In my experience these words are truth.
compassionately, dandylion
Of course those things play into it. Although, my AH is not attractive to me physically anymore(hasn't been for a long time as he could care less about his weight or his appearance in general) and social status means nothing to me. It's the financial security, the health insurance( as I have health problems and I feel his insurance is awesome and I can keep my same doctors, etc), and somewhat it's the house. The house is great but I have lived in itty bitty apartments, tiny condos, etc and I don't really care where I live as long as I feel safe and can afford it. Honestly, I'd hate to make my son move again as we've just moved into this house last fall and he loves this new neighborhood. He's been through a lot of crap this past 9 months and I'd hate to make him move or change his environment too much. He's another reason that I'm staying put. I know I can't force my AH out so I'd have to be ready to move out myself and I would have to take our son with me.
I guess those are all practical reasons. Yet, I know they can also look like excuses. I'll get it all worked out, this has been quite a few months for me, LOL!