time to buy a drink before the shop shuts?
Hi, I am brand new to this and here is my thing: I get to 10.45pm each night (the out door or off licence or whatever) shuts at 11pm, so I tip toe out the door so as not to wake the kids and in 30 seconds I have my "goodies". I think if I could just get through that period where I KNOW I cant get any drink it would make it easier, so any tips would be handy. Also, any tips on dealing with not being able to sleep would be great as this is what I usually start panicking about. I started a new job this Monday and have already missed 2 days due to drinking. My partner (father to my 5 kids) and I are not living together because of my drinking, he is the only one who knows the extent of my lies around drink and my problem. I love him very much and I want to be a good mum. I do all the regular stuff but its like I'm faking it and just thinking, go to bed so i can have a drink. I hate myself for it. Both my parents are alcoholics in denial, my brother was dry for 1 yr but drinking again, my grand mothers (both) are/were alcoholics, my uncle dry for 20 years, my auntie (it took her in the end) I feel like I don't stand a chance, my parents love me so much but any problem they salve/solve with alcohol. I want to be free of this sooo much, been to AA 3 meetings (always during a crisis, like missing work) they keep telling me to look for the similarities but all I keep thinking is "I DON'T WANT TO BE YOU'! Currently I am drinking 2 bottles of wine per night and throw the last glass away because somehow that makes it ok, the not sleeping thing is the scariest, and the tetchiness with my kids who I love so much. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated, I do want to change. thanks.