Day 5 Afternoon
Just played a hardcore hour of basketball. It is the best I have felt in years. I wasn't dragging, I wasn't gagging, I had more energy than I have literally had in years. Right now, is the best I have felt in a very long time. My mind is clear, my body feels good. I feel like a little kid again just learning all the little cool things that go on in the world. I went to the grocery store to load up on some electrolytes, eating my health lunch right now, and got my favorite seafood for dinner!! Some fresh manilla clams!! I've never made them myself before!
But to keep things in perspective, it is only day 5. I have yet to go a full day with out drinking... and there are still very prevalent signs that make me cautious all day long about that gravitational force alcohol has on me. So I'm optimistically cautious right now because I know this euphoria does not last forever. So there are two things I'm worried about.
#1) The euphoria crashing and burning and leaving me in a very depressive and lackadaisical state causing me to drink to get the feeling back even though not drinking is what brought the feeling on. So I'm learning that doesn't make very much sense.
#2) The euphoria causing me to be too confident and convincing myself that I do now have control and that one night of drinking would not be the end of the world.
I'm personally more worried about #2 at the current moment. But as of right now, I do not feel any drive to drink, I do not feel any reason to waste my weekend hungover and feeling like a big giant pile of poo. Confidence level is at a high. Tonight will be a very big test for how things go in my body and brain. I'll keep updating any more significant events. Hope everyone is having a solid day!