Originally Posted by
Katiekate 
Just food for thought Liz,
I think he knows that what he is doing goes against your values and beliefs. How could he not.
You are not willing to tell the truth to anyone who can not hear it. And the thing about telling the truth to an A is , it throws more manipulations , lies, half truths and slicing and dicing into the mix, at some point I know I stopped talking because I could not be cut wide open again.
If you are not ready to walk yet, you are not, leaving will continue to be in your mind, but you are growing and moving forward, so sometimes that has to be where you are. Things are opening up for you, the timing for the vaca is perfect, enjoy it and things will all fall into place.
And, that is why I had stopped myself from giving him the letter. I knew it would just throw more lies, justifications, minimizations, etc my way and that I would just be hurt once again.
I just remembered an email that I sent him about 18 months ago when he had a nasty drunk episode. This was well before I had Al Anon and back when he had just started drinking again, hiding it, etc. I told him how I felt about the drinking, how he quit for a reason 15 years prior and how I hadn't wanted to marry him if he was a drinker, and I poured my heart out. He told me he wouldn't drink again, but he did. It really didn't make a difference. I mean, maybe it gave me a nanosecond of peace to know that maybe he understood where I was coming from, but in the end the message I sent did nothing. The funny thing is: he printed the email and keeps it in a keepsake box of cards and letters I've given him. So, even though he kept drinking he thought enough of my communication to keep it for some reason.