I am having a rough night again...4 yr old daughter sound asleep next to me. I finished reading Getting Them Sober tonight. I did some work in my Codependence No More workbook, watched some TV...I still can't sleep. However, I am NOT having obsessive thoughts anymore about what separated AH is doing...it doesn't even matter what he is doing now! I know it hurts right now but even from my 1st post at night I see a little improvement and that's what they say...progress, not perfection, right? I am not even thinking "why?" Like I used to...now I am just trying to hold on and push through the pain and the grief. It hurts deeply, but I am proud to be allowing myself to feel these emotions and not numbing myself with alcohol, drugs or someone else like separated AH is. I am facing my recovery head on and am in control of me! I dictate what will happen, I have a choice! One day, I won't feel like this anymore. I am starting to see light at the end of this tunnel.