Good for you. I remember awhile back a member here put a picture of a duck and renamed her A's number QUACK QUACK to remind herself that he was going to quack at her.
Whatever it takes - take care of yourself. It's hard at first, but sometimes you have to open that door just a crack to remind yourself why you don't want to go back in there! Now you know - so you can move on to more healing for yourself.