The blackout scene was always the same for my xabf, same themes everytime. Same words, same threats, and then silence the next morning, there were only a few times I told him something terribly hurtful that he said. He would just say it was stupid talk. And yes it was stupid, but it was also soul wounding.
It seems to me, now, looking back, it all revolved around his own unhappiness and self hatred. That kind of hatred and anger is very dangerous stuff, I , now can not believe I never was struck. If there is one thing I know now, my xabf has so much self hatred, and a ton of grief, it takes a lot of energy and booze to keep those demons under wraps. It always felt like he got some kind of high off of the verbal and emotional abuse. I don't know, it's an awful thing to witness.