The answer to your first question is yes: He is an alcoholic. Anyone who blacks out is an alcoholic. People can get abusive when they drink. However, my experience is that you are who you are. My BF (recovering) is a loner but big-hearted guy when sober and when drinking. When drunk, he would get obnoxiously affectionate and was all over you, drunk dialing his sister, his Mom -- and then would pass out and remember nothing. I think you made way too many excuses for your friend. The research also shows that the average alcoholic has no more mental illness than a Normie. It's just the way they process alcohol. So -- bottom line -- if you think you love someone who is abusive -- then you really need to be analyzing yourself, not him. And for heaven's sake, you are so young -- you have so many years ahead of you. I am not denigrating an alcoholic bc I love one (recovered! and I respect him so much for his courage), but there is no excuse for you to give one more minute to an abuser or anyone who does not accept he is an alcoholic -- who cares how he got that way. That's his problem to solve, not yours. Oh and from an older woman to a younger --> no man ever appreciates a woman who sacrifices herself for him. It will always come back to bite you in the A@@. Ever hear "No good deed goes unpunished"?
Please get some good help so you will let yourself be treated as the special person you are. You can always start with Alanon or other support group. They are free. Healthy people attract healthy people.