Eight years of the same crap is enough to send anybody over the deep end.
All I know for sure is,.. when you reach your limit, that swinging door never looked so good. I always knew it swung both ways, I just never applied it to my own life, and when that lightbulb moment came on, I took the opportunity to let myself out, and never looked back.
Of course there are obstacles and hard times, but nothing compared to living aboard the crazy train with an active alkie. Everything is so much easier without the chaos that life with an addict brings.
Just wanted to say I understand, you are not alone, my friend.