Originally Posted by sweetteewalls

I had a plan before my AH walked out on me almost 2 months ago...Fathers Day I wanted my family of 5 to go to fishing today. We have all wanted to go fishing for years and Fathers Day was the perfect day. Instead my kids will be with their dad and I will be alone. I have no father of my own, so now its just me.

I get so angry on the special days whether it be a holiday, kids events, day in my life...they are not the same anymore. I know I will get over this, but for right now every special day has a dark cloud of "my family is broken". When AH was sober, we were happy. It hurts to think that when I was happy, maybe inside my AH wasn't which eventually cause him to walk out on us and live in a shotty motel, given up on his sobriety. I am so angry that he chooses that dysfunction over us.

I am sorry my posts are so negative right now. I feel like a Debbie Downer, but it is my reality. I am working, going to counseling, Alanon meetings (going today again) and spending time with friends but still, I feel so sullen. I am tired of waking up in sadness. I just want the bad days to pass. I know it will get better in time...just doesn't stop the hurting on the special days where we should be a family.