This cycle will never end for me
Ive been on here before. Im 22. . I am an alcoholic but was able to stay sober an entire year! I relapsed about 5 months ago, i dont know its all a drunken blur. I lost my mom to this desiease. I watched her drink and get sick. Im getting as bad as she was. i cant even write this without geting emotional. Back before my year of sobriety, I only drank on the weekends. Maybe one day during the week. . sometimes a few hours after id waken up from a party. I was sober a year and this relapse is the worste ive ever drank. sometimes I drink everyday and dont stop for days and days. its never been this bad. As for today i havent drank in a day or 2. I like drinking cause i can be social in big groups. . i now have a big group of friends and meet new people all the time. Sober i cant hardly go to walmart alone because of anxiety. Even tho i have fun with drinking, im always arguing with someone with i drink. I know how bad this sounds and how in deep i am in the desiease and in denial still but i was thinking of cutting it down to drinking one night once a month? i dont know. just help me out here someone i need you guys rigt now