Hugs, hugs and more hugs.
It is so very hard to NOT take the behavior of a mentally ill person personally, because it seems as if they should be in charge of their behavior and choices. And many of us people living with mental illness do have control over a great deal of our behavior...until we don't. It is terrifying and frustrating to me to have to deal with this issue in myself.
I am not a dr and do not know what mental issues your husband is facing, nor the meds he is on, so I cannot address your situation specifically, but only to say that it is a very hard and hurtful experience, and I feel for you.
Many people with mental illness self medicate with booze and drugs, and when we get clean and sober, the monsters come out. This gives us a chance to address the underlying issues and get appropriate treatment, but it is not an easy or painless process.
Your husband has removed himself from your life. Please take care of yourself. Please try to understand that people with mental illness often have times when they are not themselves, not rational, and can be dangerous or abusive to themselves or others. It is a manifestation of their illness and NOT a statement on you.
My husband chose to divorce me rather than continue to live with me and my mental illness. No one should stay in a situation where they feel their happiness and well being are in danger.
It is always better to live sober than in active addiction, because it gives us a shot at dealing with life rather than running from it, and killing ourselves and harming others in the meantime. But sobriety is not a cure all.
I would suggest you contact the local chapter of NAMI, national alliance of mental illness. You will find people there who understand your situation, can point you to resources for yourself and your husband and perhaps help you understand your rights as wife, as far as knowing his medical situation, having input into his care etc.
here is the link
NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness - Mental Health Support, Education and Advocacy