Not doing well at detaching with love.
Long story short:
No, I didn't let him back in.
He is now telling me he knows that he needs psych help, big time. He is now aware that something isn't 'quite right' with him in terms of our son. But only in those terms.
Which is fine, because I want him to see that, and to seek help.
Just last week, he asked me to move into house, said he loved me... I said, "that's not on the table, due to these other issues that have not been addressed. You are not healthy and it would be detrimental to son. I will not put him through it again. So, either way, these issues need to be dealt with."
he denied any issues. Then called 24 hours later to ask if I had made a 'decision'. I said, "same thing as yesterday. the issues are what need to be dealt with. "
He said, since I am declining that he would now be dating.
Fine.
Yesterday he met his visitation time. He was skittish, had son for 90minutes and returned to tell me that he is aware that something is not right. For whatever reason he has terrible anxiety when around our son. HE realizes he needs help. He will seek it.
I said "fine. This is what I have trying to discuss with you for over a year."
And that is where I should have stopped, but did not.
He needed me to know that these were DIFFERENT issues than the ones I was talking about. That he will seek that help and I will see that I am the real problem. Totally insane, but, yeah. I bit.
I proceeded to text him all the stuff, no holds barred. I just let it rip. I just let it be there. It was a two hour back and forth.
I made threats, told him I thought he was personality disordered and no one bought his game.
I guess I need to up my meetings. Everytime I responded to another text, he would write, "this is why I am now seeking a different relationship."
I got roped in and felt like I was the one being left. Same old A trick. And I just couldn't see straight.