Great post Windmill!
EOL - When I look backed at my life, I found I never really accepted rejection with any grace, understanding or maturity. In fact, it made me want what I couldn't have even more.
In a previous relationship - everyone I knew, including his friends, always wondered what I was doing with him. I even believed it too...in the beginning. Huge EGO!! But he was so nice, so loving, so flattering. I was in love and I knew him "differently" then all the rest.
He was a dry drunk, I just didn't know it. I never had even heard that expression. He had issues in every area including intimacy. I started to think it was me, my fault. I honestly thought "how could this man not be so in love with me, I am the best thing that ever happened to him." Then it got worse, I began thinking "if HE doesn't love and want me, who will?" My self worth had slowly started to deteriorate.
When he started drinking, I moved out and on. I never got healthy though. I still had the "it wasn't me, it was all him" thinking. I was glad I got out relatively quickly (around 8 months) but I wish I knew then what I KNOW today.
I had tried to make someone who couldn't love himself, love me! His love for me or lack of had determined my self worth. Huge mistake. I got rid of him but I had not got rid of my problem. Today, I am working on the problem.
Just something to think about.
