"But the truth is what is all of it when one day my kids will be gone and I will have no one to share my life with."
Jellybean, If we worry to much about the future, we miss out on the present, "Our today". Since we do not have a crystal ball to predict the future, best to make the most of today.
My children are also grown, and living on their own, hundreds of miles away from home. I am not married, I am 51, I am not alone, and I am not lonely. I am busy and involved in my own life now. After 30 years of raising kids, it feels wonderful not to have to be so responsible and structured.
For the first time, i eat when and what i want, I can pick up and just go, no need for babysitters, no need to rush home, it's a very liberating feeling. My youngest daughter recently interviewed for a job close to home, and she mentioned moving back in with me to save some money. Of course I was elated, and I agreed, but only after I explained she wasn't allowed to cramp my new lifestyle. I am no longer her cook, laundress, or housekeeper.
What I am saying is with age, our minds adapt, and adjust. Somehow it all takes care of itself. There is not a need to worry about being alone.
I always remember the saying.
"If you have one leg in the past, and one leg in the future, you have a real good chance of peeing on your today"
Do something nice for yourself today.
Hang in there, my friend.