Community.
This site, can be a tool or crutch I guess...I feel I am part of a community here.
In my two and a half years with my exABF I talked to a lot of people. A lot of people were patient and kind and supportive. There did, eventually, come a time when I was no longer comfortable calling my recovery community. As much as I was totally frustrated and heartbroken with the repetitive excuses of my ex for why he had used "again"...my family, friends, therapist and sponsor were pretty exhausted with my multifaceted antics that allowed me to stay in such a desperate relationship.
"But I love him..."
I found SR the night that I was having him move out. One more time I had him packing his things...but this time it wasn't just a couple of suitcases, it was all of his belongings. I knew that night that it was the beginning of a process of letting go and grief. I also knew my own patterns, and I was afraid that I would let him back again.
I knew that my community was exhausted. Witness: my long posts! LOL!!
SR...the LIVING BREATHING PEOPLE here...have been a community...and it's 24/7!!! I have needed to be here, to process, to be honest, to avoid total isolation, to respond, to reflect, to share.
In some programs of recovery it is important that you share the message. This is the Experience, Strength & Hope of one another. People who do not have that E, S & H do not have it to share. "Normies" have a hard time understanding how you could love someone who has the horrific behavior of an addict. Normies don't understand the twisting, blaming, justifying, rationalizing, isolating, secretive ways of an addict...or a CODEPENDENT! We need each other to remember, to be open, to share, to respond.
Crutch? Tool? How about Community? People of SR have allowed me to process, and I have held myself accountable here to stay in recovery from my DOC...and my face to face community is thankful that I have this group of people who care.
Now...I can sit back and wait for Cynical One to say the same thing in one sentence! LOL