in the healthy realtionship i am in, i have no expectations. i accept my woman for who she is. i focus on her qualities and accept her shortcomings because i have shortcomeings too. i help her whenever possible with no expectations of a pat on the back or anything in return.if i have a problem with something she does or says, its my problem and my responsibility to fix me. i do it out of love. we are both in recovery,too.