Challenging events.. How to deal?
Hello. I just signed up today. I posted ‘my story’ on the new to recovery board earlier today.
Just wanted to vent about my challenging weekend. I’m 25 years old. My drinking has been getting worse in the last couple years. I’m blacking out almost every time I drink, and getting out of control and embarrassing. I feel shame from the stories people tell me and even more shame not remembering any of it. I’ve just come to the realization that I have problems with alcohol after my dad ended up hospitalized last weekend because of alcohol. The first weekend of June, I attended an all day concert and drank 17 glasses of wine. After this I realized “whoa. This is not good” I decided the day after that 6/3 I would not drink anymore, and haven’t since.
I went out Saturday night with my boyfriend and we ended up in a bar watching the hockey game. I became so aware of my drinking problem. It was killing me that I couldn’t “have” a drink. I knew that I didn’t need one (and didn’t really want one) but I’m not able to be in a bar without drinking. I fought off the reasoning “well, I can only have a couple” and made it the whole night drinking just diet coke. After we left, I felt really good about myself. The next day was even harder. We went down to Baltimore to see the Orioles game. There was alcohol everywhere!! This game had been planned for months so I didn’t want to cancel it. Luckily (haha) I have Celiac Disease and I’m not able to drink beer so most of the desire to drink was cancelled by not having anything for me to drink anyway, but it was hard. By the end of the day however, I decided I was GLAD I didn’t have pee a million times, I could remember the game, and I didn’t embarrass myself, or my boyfriend in public. Maybe it’s not the best way, but putting myself in these situations are what I need. I need to be able to do “normal people” things and see that I’m capable of doing it. I knew deep down I could, and I did. I will, however stay away from bars for a while.
How do you guys cope in situations that aren’t bars (like baseball games or other places alcohol is available)?