Welcome Jellybean.
You will find amazing support here.
Educating myself about addiction, changed my life. It would be well worth your time to read everything you can regarding addiction. Only after I had a clear understanding of addiction could I begin to take care of myself.
Turn the focus to you, and your kids. Do what's best for the kids and you. Your hubby is going to do whatever he damn well pleases. This my friend, is ADDICTION.
Wicked is correct, your ex is trying to get custody of your kids, because of your drunken husband's actions. Is he seriously worth sacrificing your children over????
If that is not a huge wake up call, I don't know what is.
Perhaps you could revisit Alanon, try a different location. You have alot on your plate to deal with. Just know you are not alone, we are here with you. Keep posting.