Hello all! So, I had to change my sobriety date to today. Even though I just joined two days ago, for some reason it was really hard to make what feels like a public announcement that, yes, I screwed up AGAIN.
Started as a food binge, actually, but that was so unpleasant I switched to alcohol. I was certain that I couldn't possibly get drunk with that much food in my stomach. I was wrong.
It wasn't as much of a fiasco as it sometimes is - the worst I did was text my manfriend (I'm 28 - a little old for a "boyfriend," no?) to tell him I love him, but I'm not good enough for him and, therefore, I know our relationship isn't going to go anywhere and I want to get out. In other words, although I don't remember doing so, I was thinking more or less clearly!
I don't actually want to "get out," and since I have, so far, kept my drunken drama to a minimum, he doesn't want me out, either. (It can get to that point. My history tells me so).
What I DO want, however, is to stop doing this. I've "tried" to stop doing this for a couple of years, but, obviously I'm missing something. I think I spend more time thinking than doing. I think too much in general. I think.
I am at the office currently, but have spent most of the morning scrolling through the forums. Someone (I'm sorry, I don't remember who) pointed out that many of us share similar drinking patterns, and the sobriety pattern, if you will, includes a PLAN.
I am reaching out to all of you and asking if you would please, please, give me some tips on creating a plan or just share what worked for you.
Sorry for all the run-on sentences (I swear I'm not still drunk, even though I sound like it - A.D.D. much?!). I'm new to posting and I am not at all comfortable sharing personal stories (with anyone); it's bound to be awkward!
Thank you in advance!