Relapse question
There are so many posts about relapsing and I have questions. This is my first attempt really at sobriety and I am 36 days sober. There have been times I'd like to drink, or try and find pills, but I don't.
I guess what I'm wondering, or trying to ask/say, is that isn't relapsing a choice? I know in the past I'd say "no more pills" and be calling the doctor's office 5 hours later. I had to pick up the phone, dial the number, get in my car, pick up the rx, etc. There are so many "acts" involved in using.
Why are people surprised when they relapse...wasn't it a conscious thought?
There is no judgement here at all...I just want to understand. Because I don't want to relapse. In the past after I would say no more, I'd say "f^%$ it, I'm drinking" and I don't want to do that again.