definition of codependency?
Hi, I'm new to this and am having trouble with what the definition of codependency entails (I'm seeing a lot of this word in the forum). A bit about me I guess: my mother has an undiagnosed personality disorder (totally manic moods, erratic anger, paranoia, lack of empathy, excessive blame). I'm an only child and spent most of my childhood and adolescence trying to appease her and trying to make the home life feel sane. My father is an alcoholic and they are no longer together. I've lost a family member and a close friend to alcoholism and suicide, have at least 3 alcoholic friends and nearly married an alcoholic recently (see post yesterday). People tell me that I am too independent and that I act really strong when I'm in situations that would make most people break down, that I go cold or shut off when something too intense is happening to me, and that I care too much about other people. I guess I assumed that codependency had something to do with self-esteem issues. I don't feel like I have those but rather have often felt like I have a huge supply of energy or love which I have given out maybe too freely to others who seem like they need it. I'm starting to realize that maybe that isn't a positive trait? Do all of these things make it seem like I am a codependent? Does anyone have a good resource for codependency if so?