Originally Posted by
SoaringSpirits 
Some alcoholics "develop" later in life. My 50-year-old (soon to be ex) husband did not begin drinking alcoholically until he was 42 years old. Who knows what all triggered it; all I know is he's a different guy now.
No one knows who will turn into an alcoholic and who won't, at what age, under what circumstances, and why. Look at your mom, who developed a drinking problem at 53. Was there ever a time when she was a light, social drinker who knew when to stop?
AA is most definitely about the "why" of why people turn to drink. Are you familiar with the 12 steps used by both AA and Al Anon?
As to your mom, you can't do much for her except focus on your own life and give her the dignity of living hers. You can only manage yourself. Best of luck to you.
Yes, as I mentioned, my parents were not drinkers for the majority of my life; my Dad still is not; he may have one beer if we go out to a nicer dinner, but that's it. Growing up, there was never really any alcohol in the house - my parents didn't usually buy it unless they had guests over, and that was rare. And until my sister and I were of drinking age and would order alcohol when we went to dinner, they didn't either. My mother doesn't like beer, and she can't drink red wine because it gives her migraines from the tannins (my sister and I have similar reactions to different amounts of various wine). So it was just never really in the house. But even when it was in the house for the first few years, my mother handled herself appropriately. Her sister died in 2004, I moved to DC (7 hours away from my mother) the same year, and my sister moved down here in 2006 - and that's when everything went to heck. Regardless of whether she was "born" to drink or not, I am sure that this combination of events was a very large trigger, even if it is not the whole reason. Us moving was very hard on her, since she was a housewife nearly all of our childhood, never had many friends or hobbies and still cannot get over the fact that we are not babies anymore.
I am vaguely familiar with the 12 Steps, and I do know that there is a "spiritual" aspect to it. This is what concerns me - my mother is VERY skittish when it comes to anything even remotely religious (mentioning of God and whatnot, even in the most non-denominational/humanist sense), so I am afraid this will turn her off and she will stop going. Further, AA is NOT run by trained professionals - my mother's deep-seated issues require psychological help (years of unresolved grief and depression/anxiety), so I think she needs therapy, alongside AA which might give her the social support she feels she can't get from any of us.