Hey Sanity,
Boy, do I hear you loud and clear. What I did, when I realized that I couldn't fix him, I started to fix all of the things that were on his list to fix, that he never got around to. Did you know that you can get the manual online for almost any appliance or thing that needs to be fixed. There are also a lot of forums that you can go to and get help from them.
I had to learn how to operate a walk behind lawn mower that was so big and heavy that it was pulling me around. I am all of 5'3'' and weigh 120 lbs. I also went online to figure out how to fix an auger on a snow blower.
Since I left him and now have my own house, I bought a weed wacker, and I know how to use it, also bought a tiller, a chainsaw, pressure washer. I was living with friends for awhile, and I painted their entire house, inside and out, yes, I did paint the outside of a house. It was only a ranch. Also painted their concrete floor down the basement and put the flakes on it, and then used epoxy to seal it.
So I guess the moral of the story is, you can't fix him, I spent 25 years trying to do that, I spent the next 3 years learning how to do the things that I stupidly depended on him to do.
And you know whats so rewarding about that. These things we can do, and we can fix them, we can't fix a person.
(((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
PS - I still love my ex, but I lost him a long time ago. The old him (the person I fell in love with) is never coming back. It took me a long time to get over that, and maybe I am still not over that, but I had to move on with my life. ((((((((more hugs)))))))))