We alcoholics can be such P----'s.
When I was still drinking they referred to it as practising. I think I had it down pat and didn't need to practice. To survive as a practicing drunk we need to develop such incredible skills. Lying, cheating, beligerence and a host of others. I was all of that and more. We could be such loveable teddy bears when sober or when we want to con someone out of something.
All I can say to you, angrywife, is to protect your heart. We are what we are until we make an honest decision to change. Maybe someday he will change, but either way until he makes this decision for himself you are not only better off without him but safer too.