I'm crushed like you except mine is shacked up in Motel 6 with his young twit that supports his addiction. Look at it like a blessing that he's gone far away. Mine abandoned me and I still have to see him around the corner. I know it hurts but keep posting like I am. You feel so weak and like the life has been sucked out of you...I know. Just try to find a positive. I know its hard...I'm crying right along with you tonight...but you have to do it. Giving up on him, an option...giving up on yourself, not an option.