What does she want you to help her with???
This sounds like the manipulation.
Guilt about not knowing how to help her.
My mother is incredibly manipulative , and it is so hurtful, my realtionship with her is awful and she doesn't even know it. I spent a lot of time trying to help her, suggest things to her, take care of her, 2 summers ago she got smashed at a party at her neighbors house, fell in the pool and went straight to the bottom, two people had to pull her out, then denied that she was drunk, that is when I told her finally that I was done, it's all on you.
Sometimes you can only take so much then you have to just move away and protect yourself. You are not responsible.
I'm so sorry for your troubles and pain, love to you Katie