kpfinn

Hello,

Sorry this is going to be long----


I need some advise and it may be actually too late. My sister has been abusing prescription drugs and alcohol for a very long time. She is 5 years younger than me and she has been progressively getting worse. I had to admit her to a hospital because she was suicidal and had a blood alcohol level so high that it took 12 hours in the ER on IVs until they could admit herto a floor.
She stayed sober fo a short time and then started again.
She was arrested for disorderly because her husband made her get out of his car when fighting and she was so intoxicated that she went in someones car.
She makes excuses that she has a brain injury from an accident that she had when drunk, but it is clear that she is abusing. Her husband is an acoholic and abusive to her. She has refused my help. I offered her a home to live in away from him.
She has been arrested, hospitalized, in prison, and continues to drink.
She calls family members when drinking and verbally abuses them. When sober she is remorseful.
My daughter is getting married and does not want my sister coming to the wedding because of the scenes she makes. She also has said and done things to my daughter that are very hurtful. (when drunk)
2 weeks ago my sister, while in jail for probation violation, told me that she does not want to be invited to the wedding. She has also stated that when drinking. While in prison I tried to find a treatment facility for my sister. because they felt she was already detoxed she could not go to any - insurance wouldn't pay. My sister said she could do it herself. She refused AA meetings, refused to move, and as soon as probation was over she began drinking again.
Other siblings have had weddings and she always creates a scene. I have been the one who had to sit with her and try to keep her from outrageous behaviors. She has cried at the weddings and falls over in the pew, cat whistles while they walk down the isle, changes clothes at the reception table, and in general carries on. Then complains after that she didn't like her seat because the bride had her so far away from the family circle and ps I was there too!
Now, because I did not invite her to the wedding she is furious. She sends me texts and tell me that I never loved her and that I don't know what unconditional love is.

My question is - If she was only one month sober would a wedding where there is liquor served be too difficult? I am filled with guilt about this.
My aging parents do not want to be around her husband because they blame him and they know he is physical with her. To add insult to injury the wedding is on her birthday. I am a mess about this and know that I can't change things now. I tried to talk to her when sober but she wouldn't take my calls.
I explained to her that I want her in my life and that I will do anything to help her. I also tried to explain that it is my daughter's day and that she is having a hard time with accepting the things my sister does and says. My daughter rarely sees her - only at family get togethers and and my sister is always drunk. My daughter does not know her any other way.
Yikes I feel awful about this.
I am so afraid of what may happen to my sister if she doesn't get treatment.
Thanks for listening