Night time
Day 5 and feeling good physically and mentally for the most part. I'm trying really hard to control negative, hopeless thoughts about my ended relationship, and I know that all alcohol does is fuel them.
During every attempt at sobriety, mornings are my best time, afternoon and early evenings my most difficult, and by night time I feel like I just want the night over with so I can disappear into sleep, rack up another day, and wake up refreshed. By 7 or 8 I find myself just counting the hours until I can go to bed. I just want it over with. I know it's a better option and feeling than drinking, but I hate wishing my nights away like that. A couple of months ago, that feeling went on all of the 21 nights that I was sober. Its almost like, if I can't drink, I just want it to be over with. I'm not miserable, it's just kind of a dull feeling, even if I'm busy doing things.
Has anyone else felt this way? And does it get better? I don't want to live my life wishing time away because I'm not drinking. Logically I play the tape to the end and know what even one drink will lead to, but I still feel like that.