Originally Posted by
m1k3 
For me it was longer. What I did was I cried, started posting here, started Al-Anon, got back into Buddhism.
Then I began to pick up the pieces, I became my own best friend. I spent a lot of time just figuring things out. I am a good person, I am a loving person. I loved someone who once loved me and then stopped. I don't know why. I don't know why she turned to pills and booze. Nothing I can do about it.
It doesn't invalidate the love I had for her. After a year of separation and over half way through the divorce process I realize I still feel love for her. That's ok because that's who I am. Doesn't mean I'm going to stop the divorce. Doesn't mean I'm going to forget. I get to keep both parts, the good and the bad, the love and the anger, the joy and the pain. That's Ok as well.
What I am doing now is accepting me as I am. And that's ok too.
Your friend,
Ditto to this above.
Every once in a while I go back to that place of wondering what the heck happened. I let myself wallow there for a hour or so, and then make myself go do something else. Because ultimately, I took a chance on someone, it didn't work out. I won't stop taking chances in life because of a few that don't work out. That's not the person I want to be.
I am glad for the good times spent with the RAH - when it was good it was the best I had ever experienced. Unfortunately, it was bad more than good, and that is why it is ending. But I am still happy to have some wonderful memories.