I felt like a fool, doormat, pushover, etc.... The truth is he is the fool.
Active or dry As are just not capable of real deep love as they hate themselves. We trying to love them extra so they loves themselves but that only drains us dry while they are an empty pit and usual very ungrateful for it.
My XAB Even lied about what he ate. He was so insecure that he wanted to control how everyone thought of him about everything so he would lie. Then he knew he had built relationships on lies which further causes the self hatred, nobody loves me, I'm no good thing that addicts do...giving him a perfect excuse to drnk or do pills on a huge why me, nothing matters, no one cares pitty party.
Addicts lie and deceive themselves...so of course they will do the same to the around them AND many have mastered the skill on lying and manipulation plus us Codies are easy targets.
You are a wonderful and loving person who at times probably knew some things felt off but you trusted your husband.
BIG HUG