I am learning that all things happen for a reason and most of those we don't get for quite a while. I go to Al-Anon and listen to the stories but something here touched me and I appreciate your replies. Nothing is forever as they say, including sobriety if those you care about don't work it. Work it for yourself...not for someone else. That part is hard. To care about someone else is easy, to care about yourself is more difficult for those that are in this situation. I tell my therapist and Al-Anon I just want to stop crying. Then they tell me that is what I need to do to heal. Great!
This is my most favorite quote right now:
"As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." - The Wizard to the Tin Man