The only way to get through it, is to go through it
I'm 30 plus days sober and I am very up and down right now. My wife is still pushing the divorce and it appears that it is inevitable. I would say this is one of the lowest times in my life. But, it could be so much worse if I was drinking. I can't even imagine how badly I would be doing if I were drinking right now.
I am so grateful that something pushed me back into AA a week before this happened. This whole thing came out of nowhere and it seems like something intervened and got me where I needed to be to be able to handle this.
I just look back on my "bad days" before and I want to laugh at them. The things I "allegedly" drank over in the past were a complete joke. It's kind of like the guy with a cold complaining to the girl with terminal cancer on how bad he feels.
This break up has taught me a ton on perspective. Things can always be worse and even at our lowest times we have things to be grateful for.
So, tonight I go to bed heartbroken, sad, lonely, BUT SOBER. I need to keep in mind that all of this could be made twice as bad if I drink. So I push on. Tomorrow is another day and I'm grateful that I'll be present to experience it.
Goodnight all!